This Week in Westeros: "The Queen's Justice" (Season 7, Episode 3)

WARNING: This Post is Dark and Full of SPOILERS

A.K.A. “The One Where Lady Olenna Turns Up.”

So the episode wastes absolutely no time and opens up with Jon and Ser Davos arriving on Dragonstone to meet with Daenerys. I’m still not used to the shortened season resulting in stuff happening quicker, but it’s certainly welcome. Now, in any other fantasy story like this, if two well-liked protagonists like these finally met up, it would be this big, joyous celebration and they would immediately join forces to fight the bigger war. Maybe there would be a romance spurred up somewhere in their political bantering.

But here’s the issue: this is Game of Thrones. That means that Dany and Jon constantly butt heads. Dany wants Jon to bend the knee to her and denounce his title of King in the North, which he won’t. Jon wants Dany to believe him about the White Walkers and the army of the dead so that her dragons can help them out, which she won’t. (Although, honestly, if she has three dragons, would it really be that hard to believe that zombies exist? And couldn't Jon use his connection to Maester Aemon - a Targaryen - to convince Dany?) And basically, Jon becomes Dany’s prisoner until he can cooperate. Lord of the Rings this is not.

But it’s okay, because Tyrion’s here, and he’s probably the only person at Dragonstone who likes and trusts Jon. It was really nice to see Tyrion and Jon interacting again after six seasons, and even though they haven’t been together in a long while, they still banter like old friends. It was also interesting to see just how much both of these characters have changed since the last time they saw each other. And being Jon’s only friend in the court of the Dragon Mother, Tyrion is the one to convince Daenerys to allow Jon and his men to mine the dragonglass there for weapons. Dany not only allows this, but grants Jon the use of any manpower or resources on Dragonstone that he needs to accomplish this. So maybe this Targaryen family reunion wasn’t a total bust.

"So who talks first? You talk first? I talk first?"

At King’s Landing, Euron arrives with his gift for Cersei: Ellaria and Tyene Sand, the forces responsible for the death of her daughter Myrcella. After implying that she’ll be giving Euron “what he wants” once the war is won (even though she seems content continuing to boink her brother), she takes the two prisoners down to the dungeon, monologues about the deaths of her daughter and Ellaria’s beloved Prince Oberyn, and then kisses Tyene with the same poison that they used to kill Myrcella. The poison is slow acting, of course, but being the graceful queen that she is, Cersei makes sure that Ellaria is fed and kept alive so she can watch her daughter die, as well as insuring that the torches are constantly replaced so that she doesn’t miss a thing.

Damn.

Cersei has fully gone off the deep end, and I kind of love it. She has the brutal sadism that Joffrey had, but she also has the patience and policitcla planning that makes her that much scarier. She’s a woman who’s lost everything, and she doesn’t care how the world views her anymore. She’s not even trying to hide her incestuous nights with Jaime anymore (and apparently her passion for these are now fueled by murder). She’s done playing around. She’s going to get what she wants, no matter how many lines she has to cross to get there.

Also, no idea what Euron has planned for Yara, since she wasn’t delivered with the rest of the Sand Snakes. But it’s probably not going to be good.

At Winterfell, Sansa shows off how she’s enjoying ruling by discussing food provisions or something. But enough of that, because Bran’s here now! Yeah, apparently he wasn’t at Castle Black for long and just went straight to Winterfell, which I guess explains why none of the Night’s Watch sent a raven to Jon about his brother. There’s a sweet reunion between Sansa and Bran that’s been coming for some time, and like Tyrion and Jon from earlier, it’s interesting to see how far both of them have changed. Sansa has gone from a whining, bratty princess to a strong-willed woman ruler, and Bran has become…well, honestly, he acts like a kid zonked out on too much Xanax. Whatever the old Three-Eyed Raven did to him when Bran inherited the position, it left him in a state where he views everything that has happened or is happening, but he views it also subjectively, with no emotion. Everything is just information to him. He talks with Sansa about viewing her wedding night to Ramsay – you know, the night he raped her – with such cold indifference that it’s almost like Bran has become a completely different person. Which, considering how much the actor has aged since Season 1, he may as well be.

CAN YOU DIG IT???

At Oldtown, Jorah is miraculously cured of Greyscale, and it definitely wasn’t because Sam used the forbidden technique on him. Yeah, I don’t really know how Sam and Jorah were going to hide that from the Archmaester, considering Jorah’s flesh looked like Deadpool and he was trying to pass off the old “I just got some rest and it got better” schtick. Regardless, Sam is commended for his work – even though he went against orders – and his reward is more grueling work. At this point, Sam’s life may as well be Harry Potter: a young man trains in an ancient school, steaks books from the Restricted Section, goes against what his teachers tell him is dangerous and is commended when it works, Professor Slughorn is there, etc. And as for Jorah? He’s going back to find Daenerys, because Jorah’s entire purpose seems to be “Leave Daenerys, go to [Insert Other Destination Here], return to Daenerys, rinse and repeat.” He really needs a hobby.

At Casterly Rock, Danerys’ siege of the Unsullied goes underway, with some excellent editing of Tyrion narrating the invasion over scenes of the invasion itself. It felt like a heist movie, where the plan is being told through narration while we the audience see it come together. The fight scenes of the Unsullied fighting the Lannistr forces are also very good. Brutal and bloody, just the way I like my medieval combat. The attack goes very well and Casterly Rock falls to the Unsullied, but then Euron’s fleet comes and destroys the Unsullied ships.

And where are the rest of the Lannister soldiers that should have been at the Rock? Why, they’re at Highgarden, slaughtering Tyrell soldiers left and right with none of Daenerys’ forces to defend them. Jaime has successfully outfoxed his brother Tyrion. Even Randyll Tarly is there, having apparently taken Jaime up on his offer to betray his sworn house. As a bit of a side note, I'm still not entirely on board with how much Jaime is going along with Cersei's tyranny, especially after the character development he's gone through. With how he's evolved as a character, Jaime should be much angrier with Cersei that she killed so many innocents and indirectly led to the suicide of their last surviving heir, but it seems like he just doesn't care. Maybe the season will explain this behavior later, but for right now, I'm not really buying it.

With Highgarden fallen to the Lannisters, Jaime presents Lady Olenna with her means of execution: poison in a goblet of wine. Which Olenna eagerly gulps down. Considering she’s a woman with no family, forces, or castle left, I don’t blame her. I feel like she’s been wishing death upon herself since the Green Trial. But before Jaime leaves her to die, Olenna throws one last “F*** you” to Cersei by revealing to Jaime that she was the one who killed Joffrey, and she wants Cersei to know it was her. The Queen of Thorns, everybody. Even with her dying breaths, she still manages to find a way to get what she’s wanted since the end of Season 6: to hurt Cersei.

Oh, and Theon is found by some Ironborn forces. Yay.

A moment of silence for this unrivaled badass.

Season 7 continues to chug along nicely with “The Queen’s Justice.” I’m still not used to how fast this season is moving along, but man am I grateful that Jon has already met Daenerys and Bran is back at Winterfell. Most of the action in this episode takes place at either Dragonstone or King’s Landing, with the other stories getting a quick scene or two to say their peace. There’s not even an update on the storylines for Arya or the Hound in this episode (who has been MIA for two weeks since he glimpsed the future in the fire). But we still get a lot of good stuff, particularly the meeting between Jon and Dany, the full brunt of Cersei’s sadism towards the Sand Snakes, and the final bow of the great Olenna Tyrell. It’s hard to believe come next week, we’ll be at the season’s halfway point, but I’m very happy to far with where the season’s going.

Final verdict: 7.5/10.

So there’s a theory floating around that the Game of Thrones books are actually being written by Sam once be becomes a maester and decides to write an account of Westeros’ recent history. If that’s true, it must have been awkward for him to write all of those explicit sex scenes, especially those involving his best friend Jon.